". . . and a little child shall lead them."   --Isaiah 11.6


The Ten Commandments According To Kids

  1. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
  2. The fifth commandment is "Humor thy father and mother."
  3. The seventh commandment is "Thou shalt not admit adultery."
  4. The ninth commandment is "Thou shalt not bare faults witness."
  5. The tenth commandment is "Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."

Good Answers In Bible Class


Concerning Angels


Letters To The Preacher

Dear Preacher, Are there any devils on earth? I think there might be one in my class.
anonymous
Dear Preacher, I hope to go to heaven someday, but I would prefer later rather than sooner.
Love, Ellen (age 9, Athens)
Dear Preacher, I know God loves everybody, but he never met my sister!
Yours sincerely, Arnold (age 8, Nashville)
Dear Preacher, I liked your sermon Sunday, especially when it was finished.
Ralph (age 11, Akron)
Dear Preacher, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you would move it to Disneyland.
Loreen (age 9, Tacoma)
Dear Preacher, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there.
Stephen (age 8, Chicago)
Dear Preacher, My father says I should learn the ten commandments, but I think we already have enough rules in my house.
Joshua (age 10, Pasadena)
Dear Preacher, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives me a sermon about something.
anonymous
Dear Preacher, Please pray for all airline pilots. I am flying to Grandma's tomorrow.
anonymous
Dear Preacher, Please say in your sermon that I have been a good boy all week.
anonymous

Prayers


Other Comments From The Kids

  1. A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.
  2. A deacon is the lowest kind of a Christian.
  3. David fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.
  4. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
  5. [as the collection plate was passed] Don't pay for me, Daddy; I'm under five.
  6. Eliza came before the king wrapped in a camel's hair and said, "Behold me, I am Eliza the Tidbit."
  7. If David had one fault, it was a slight tendency toward adultery.
  8. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
  9. Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
  10. King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 porcupines.
  11. Little is known of the prophet Elisha, except that he once went for a cruise with a widow.
  12. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night.
  13. [during a long sermon] Mommy, If we give him the money now, will he let us go?
  14. Moses died before he reached Canada.
  15. Moses went to the top of Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
  16. Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears.
  17. Noah's wife was Joan of Ark.
  18. One of the opposums was St. Matthew.
  19. Paul preached acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
  20. Salome danced in seven veils in front of King Harrod's.
  21. Samson slayed the Philistines with the Axe of the Apostles.
  22. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
  23. Sarah was Abraham's half-wife, otherwise mid-wife, sometimes called columbine.
  24. The Bible is against bigamy when it says that no man can serve two masters.
  25. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
  26. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
  27. The first book in the Bible is Guinessis in which Adam and Eve were created from an apple.
  28. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
  29. The people who followed Jesus were the 12 decibels.
  30. Unleavened bread is bread made without any ingredients in it.
  31. When David slew Goliath with a catapult, the age of missile warfare commenced. This incident drove the first nail into the coffin of Feudalism.

What Do You Remember?

Hopefully, by the time we're adults we know our Bibles a little better, but this fellow didn't. Asked to tell his favorite Bible story, he gave the account found HERE.


What Animal Is It?

I found a discarded worksheet that had been filled out in a Bible class that was studying about Adam naming all the animals. This student did pretty well until the last question, when apparently his learning disability kicked in.
A yellow animal with brown spots and a very long neck.
GIRAFFE
An animal that seems to have long arms instead of front legs. A funny animal that makes us laugh.
MONKEY
A large, furry animal. May be black or brown or white. Sometimes we have furry toys like this animal.
BEAR
A small animal that many people have as a pet. Comes in many colors. Says, "Meow."
CAT
This animal is called the "king of the beasts." It is strong and fierce. It is a light brown color.
LION
This animal is a well-liked pet. It has been called "man's best friend." It comes in many colors, and it barks.
GOD

One more thing . . .

Upon finding a leaf that had been pressed between the pages of a very old family Bible, a little boy called out, "Look, it's Adam's suit!!"
THE RUSSLER
Word Wild Web
Dumb Things People Say
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