MIXED METAPHORS

"as much fun as shooting monkeys in a barrel"

--Gary Swing

A car comes up behind you, flashing his horn.: Aaron Colwick
A carpenter was the low rung on a totem pole.: Charles Hodge
A friend in need is the root of all evil.: Gary Swing
a heart as big as gold: Kathy Scott
A leopard can't change his stripes.: Al Gore
A rolling stone is worth two in the bush.: David Beck
a stab in the dark: various people (who don't have guns)
A stitch in time is worth a pound of cure.: John_Nutting's ex-girlfriend
A stitch in time keeps the doctor away.: Gary Swing
a ten-digit word: The Russler
Absence is the best policy.: Gary Swing
Adam wasn't always the brightest tool.: Darrell Ankarlo
All good things come full circle.: a contributor's neighbor, Linda
All work and no play play makes Jack healthy, wealthy, and wise.: Gary Swing
An apple a day is a penny earned.: Gary Swing
An automatic process failed. I'm going to have to kick it off by hand.: The Russler
and, for the cherry on top, great sound & production that's crisp like a crunchy apple.: Alan_Caylow
as easy as falling off a piece of cake: Brian _Bilston
[as if] it would somehow bring the public school system crumbling to its knees.: Mark Davis
as proud as pea soup: The Russler
As we consider the road that unfolds before us . . .: Barack Hussein Obama Jr.
back to the grinding board: Jeannette_Scott
bare bones thumbnail sketch: The Russler
beyond the question of a doubt: Doug_Yochum
Birds of a feather killed the cat.: Gary Swing
biting the hand that rocks the cradle: Sherri Barber
born under a silver spoon: George Whitney Calhoun
¡Botó la casa por la ventana!
(It threw the house out the window!): Latin American saying used when someone throws a lavish party
Brilliant sunshine rained down on Fort Collins.: Rush Limbaugh
But one has to tidy up the loose ends.: Agatha Christie
Button your seat belts.: Rush Limbaugh
Can't you read the handwriting in the wind?: Frank Burns
Change is now baked into the fabric of EDS.: Dick Brown, cooking & sewing expert
changes that will ignite our engines of growth: Dick Brown, with some explosive ideas
Check and re-check until the cows turn blue.: Brian _Bilston
Commissioner Gary Mize toed the cracks with a wary eye.: Hart County reporter talking about old tennis courts
Curiosity skinned the cat.: Gary Swing
cut from the same mold: spotted in the newspaper by Eric Goberman
Danny can squeeze money out of a turnip.: Terry_Kitsen
David's come out of this one looking like a rose.: Dennis Malley
Did you hear what they feel?: acquaintance of Steve Barber
Dirty laundry is coming home to roost.: Ray Romano
Do you follow where I'm coming from?: Steve_Bishop
Does that play into the equation?: anonymous sportscaster
Don't burn your bridges till you come to them.: a general during WWII
Don't count your chickens before you put them in your mouth.: Gary Swing
Don't eat with your mouth full!: Russell McLaughlin's parents
Don't kill the goose that lays the silver lining.: Gary Swing
Don't let the grass grow under a rolling stone.: Jayne Armstrong
Don't make a mountain out of spilled milk.: Gary Swing
Don't pull the axe too quickly.: Kevin
Don't put your foot in one basket.: Gary Swing
Don't take any wooden Indians.: The Russler
Don't take the moral high horse: if the metaphor fits, walk a mile in it.: Brian _Bilston
Don't throw up the white towel!: a marching band director to his students
Drill that message home.: someone at EDS
. . . drawing the eye . . . like a magnet.: field reporter on NBC5
drop down gorgeous: Theresa H's mother, referring to a handsome man
Early to bed and early to rise makes Jack a dull boy.: Gary Swing
eating humble crow: overheard by Steve Stein
Even in a sewer, the cream rises to the top.: Charles Emerson Winchester
Every cloud has a golden egg.: Gary Swing
Everything got real dark, like snow.: witness to the World Trade Center collapse
everywhere you turn around: a college senior
fewer and fewer in between: Jerry_L._Miller
fiddling with his guitar: Jimmy Webb, refering to Glen Campbell
fighting uphill: Herbie Hancock
Fools rush in where angels and their money are soon parted.: Gary Swing
Frankly, we don't know whether to wind the watch or to bark at the moon.: Dan Rather
fodder for the mill: Mark_Davis
from the bottom on down: Bill Kidd
Gag me with a silver spoon.: Gary Swing
get all your ducks on the same page: Brian _Bilston
get the kinks rolling: George Harper
Get in the boat or swim or get out.: Grace McIntyre
Go ahead. Spew it off your chest.: Jeff Feath
Have a nice day job.: The Russler
Haven't we beat that with a dead stick?: Todd Bruce
He came out of it smelling like a bandit.: Gene_McLemore
He can cry on a dime.: Kim
He clams up tighter than a drum.: Alex, in "Walker, Texas Ranger"
He has his pulse on everything.: [name withheld by request]
He kind of liked Alison, but Heather didn't really flip his whistle.: Celia_Steele
He knew how to butter his nest.: anonymous
He reads like a fish.: a New Yorker who claims that people there use a lot of different verbs in "He/she ______s like a fish."
He took to it like a fish out of water.: Michael Ellis
He wanted to get out from under his father's coat strings.: Jeff_Orr
He's a pretty sharp cookie.: David Wilmot
He's been burning the midnight oil at both ends.: someone from England
He's cooking his goose deeper and deeper.: Kathy Scott
He's not the sharpest marble in the drawer.: Vinny Pazienza
He's one brick short of the whole nine yards.: The Russler
He's really low dog on the totem pole.: John_Galvin
He's the meanest man on the face of the universe.: someone at EDS
heart-wrenching: anonymous
. . . her last day as an eagle . . . flying off to greener pastures . . .: Steve P.
Here we are in the Holy Land of Israel -- a mecca for tourists.: someone from England
Hold the Farm!: The Russler
How would I feel if I were sitting in your shoes?: Stan_Womack
I ate enough to float a battleship!: Tom VK's mother's coworker
I can read him like an open can of worms.: unnamed baseball player
I can see the light at the end of the rainbow.: Walt
I could beat him with my eyes tied behind my back.: Kev_Newton
I could hear the handwriting on the wall.: overheard by Eric Goberman
I could see you itching at the bit.: The Russler
I didn't have two minutes to rub together.: Scott_Zotigh
I don’t think they want to bite off that bullet.: Steve_Boress
I don’t think we should jump at straws here.: Rush Limbaugh
I don't want that monkey around my neck.: John_Nutting's ex-girlfriend
I dozed in and off.: Jeff Feath
I feel like a bridegroom waiting at the altar for a blind date.: John
I feel the comparison paints Chicago in a bad light.: Theresa_Blackwell
I guess I threw a cog in the wrench.: Jeannette Scott
I guess the foot's on the other hand now!: Capt. Striker
I have been torn betwixt and between the devil and the deep blue sea.: Inga
I just say whatever comes out of my mouth.: Sherri Barber
I knew enough to realize that the alligators were in the swamp and that it was time to circle the wagons.: Rush Limbaugh
I know he has passed the baton to Rob Gray, but he has been the big dog from the beginning.: The Russler
I left the door wide open, and you didn't take the bait.: Kyle Messerschmitt
I looked to see what I could hear.: Atlanta bar employee
I make it my goal to shake every hand that walks in the door.: Jacob Hawk
I should move to the other side of the building, so I can see the sunset come up every morning.: Kyle Malone
I think we got on like a house gathering no moss.: Shaun_Fiedler
I thought it might be a good idea for you to check base with him.: Hubert_Jones
I turned a blind eye to all that bad stuff I was hearing.: overheard by Peter Cox
I want to be sure we don't build ourselves a bag of worms.: anonymous
I want to see you go to town like a house of fire.: Jeannette Scott
I wanted to come out of the chute on the right foot.: John Mabry
I was so excited my heart about fell out of my stomach!: "American Idol" contestant
I was the mother hen to all these little ducks.: Sandy on "Survivor"
I wasn't living under my parents' house anymore.: Misty Lou
I wish they'd hurry up and get their act in gear.: Jeff_Giesen
I will miss seeing him around the shoehorn.: council member in Lexington, Kentucky
I'd walk a mile in a camel's shoes to pass through the eye of a needle.: Gary Swing
I'll bet she has her clothes made by Orville, the tent maker.: John_Nutting's ex-girlfriend
I'm a little rusty on that, so I'm going to have to dust off the rust.: Bobby
I'm bone empty.: Jeff Feath
I'm getting up on my feedbox here.: Rob_Tudor
I'm going to go ahead and mow and get it out of the over with.: The Russler
I’m just talking out loud.: Lori Miller
I'm no Monday morning shortstop.: radio advertiser
I'm not the brightest bulb in the drawer, but you are.: Attorney Doug Monsour to Dr. Edwin Tucker in a deposition.
I'm not trying to poke holes at anybody.: Jerry_L._Miller
I'm so busy, I don't know whether I'm coming or not.: a top level business exec
I'm sure he's watching me like a wet hen.: Sherri Barber
I'm sweating like a stuck pig.: Sherri Barber
I'm tired of being a pawn in your lousy game of checkers!: Vinnie Faducci
I've been up and down like a light switch.: Shaun_Fiedler
I've been up and down so many times that I feel as if I'm in a revolving door.: Cher
I've got an ace up my nose.: Ken Zotigh
If he doesn't carry Florida, Slim will have left town.: Dan Rather
. . . if the child was shoplifting, that's one thing, but if her parents were teaching her to steal, that's a whole new ballpark. . . .: anonymous, quoted by Debra Bentley
If they do that, they might as well take the open door policy and throw it right out the window!: Stan_Womack
If worse comes to shove . . . .: The Russler
If you don't wear your seat belt, you're just a missile waiting to happen.: Christine Wick
If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet.: British foreign minister Ernet Bevin
Ignorance is golden.: Gary Swing
In about six months I'll be knocking on your shoulder.: Reggie_Walker
In for a dime, in for a dozen.: Santiago
Is that going to throw a wrinkle?: David Beck
Is this a whole nother bucket of worms?: Keith_from_TGI
Isn't it nice to not have to look over our backs anymore?: anonymous, quoted by Sherri Barber
It ain't a pretty sight for the ears.: anonymous
It dawned across my head.: anonymous
It doesn't quite cut the muffin.: panel speaker on a serious TV show
It isn't rocket surgery!: Michael Kirk
It kind of defeats the whole point.: someone in a business meeting
It looks like the cows have come home to roost.: Frank Drebbin
It sent goosebumps up my spine.: Jim_Kuykendall
It sounds good on paper.: The Russler
It was a piece of breeze! Like falling off a duck's back.: The Russler
It was time to get my act in gear.: Mark_Rathwell
It will be music to your wallet.: advertiser
It will have a special time on our plate.: Robert K. Oglesby
It'll be a cold day in January when that happens!: John_Nutting's ex-girlfriend
It's a big nut to swallow.: Mike_Neff
It's a Hallmark moment!: Ann Jewell
It's as plain as the egg on your face.: The Russler
It's as American as killing two birds with one apple pie.: Gary Swing
It's gonna snowball through the whole fireworks.: Michael_Willey
It's hard to catch lightning in a bottle twice.: Norah O'Donnell on The Chris Matthews Show
It's like a wizard in sheep's clothing.: T.A._Miller
It's like ice cold electricity passing through your body.: a novelist
It's like locking the barn door after the nuts have bolted.: Jayne Armstrong
It's like looking for a needle before you leap.: Gary Swing
It's like pulling hen's teeth.: anonymous
It's like pushing a rock upstream.: overheard by Steve Stein
It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.: Robert K. Oglesby
It's water under the dam.: overheard by Steve Stein
jack of new tricks: Gary Swing
Just then, the fickle finger of fate reared its ugly head.: Selby Anderson
just to throw some evidence on the fire: business meaning attendee
Keep a stiff upper chin.: James MacDonald
Keep up the good word.: Tony Ruebsam
Keep your door closed and your enemies closer.: Brian _Bilston
Keep your eye on the ball and your foot on the throttle.: Shawn Bailey
Keep your nose up!: Manuel
kick the elephant down the road: a fictional mayor of NYC
kicking off the hockey season: sportscaster
kill two birds with one egg: Michelle_Perry
Let those without sin, live in a glass house.: Jim Steinman
Let's clear up a loose end.: Rush Limbaugh
Let's make sure we're all talking off the same sheet of music.: Tom_Sweeterman
Let's not put all of our cookies in a basket.: Doug_MacDougal
Let’s split the baby with the bathwater.: anonymous
Life is a box of cherries.: overheard by Steve Stein
life, liberty, and the pursuit of justice for all: Johnny Cochran
like stealing cake from a baby: overheard by Dan Butler
Listen! You smell something?: Ray Stantz
Live And Let Learn: The Russler
living from hand to mouth like the birds of the air: Sir Boyle Roche
Local teen pregnancy rates are off the roof!: overheard by Steve Barber
long road to hoe: anonymous
Look before you laugh last.: Gary Swing
Loose lips sink like a rock.: Gary Swing
Make like a tree and head out.: Jesse
Maybe I'm not the sharpest tool in the chandelier.: Van Montgomery
Moss never grows on a fish out of water.: Jayne Armstrong
Muchos kudos.: trilingual Jeanne_Lewer
My mind is an open slate.: The Russler
Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.: Farber
99 times out of ten, that's what you'll get.: Kent_Martin
No kinks in his armor: anonymous
No one else can make me feel the colors that you bring.: Minnie Ripperton
No use beating him over the head with a dead horse.: Durward_Cline
not until frozen pigs fly in hell: anonymous
not without a grain of sugar: anonymous
nothing out of the unusual: Kelly_Gryting
Now I'm going to tell you something that'll really throw a kink in the wrench.: Parker_Allen
Now, Senator McCain suggests that somehow, you know, I'm green behind the ears.: Barack Obama, October 7, 2008
Now that the ball is in our court, let's go for the touchdown.: a lieutenant governor-elect of New Mexico, I forget which
Now we're up to sync.: The Russler
Nuke The Unborn Gay Whales: bumper sticker
Off the cuff of my head.: overheard by Steve Stein
Oh yeah, it’s like watching wallpaper dry.: someone at Adrian Donahue's workplace
Oh my heavens to Betsy.: Mark Davis
one hundred degrees better: anonymous
opening up a whole hill of beans: Brian _Bilston
Our methodology isn't cast in stone.: Sam_Jellad
Our old car bought the dirt.: The Russler
Our organization really frowns down on that.: Brian_Lawrence
Pause your eyes!: Madison Michelle to her Granny K.
Pensions these days aren't worth the money they're written on.: Shaun_Fiedler
People will blow smoke and mirrors at you.: acquaintance of Steve Barber
Players' names should be entered in numeric order.: a league's instructions to coaches
pole vaulting with horses: Cynthia_Thomas
Put that in your hat and smoke it.: Jesse
. . . putting aside every spare nickel. You know, building up a little goose egg.: Rob Benjamin
raining like a sieve: Jesse
right between the nose: Paul_Foley
right there on the tip of my brain: David R. Scott
ripple down: Compton and Jansen
running around like chickens without a shepherd: The Russler
She flew off the deep end.: anonymous
She has bigger dogs to fry.: Ken Zotigh
She may want to tackle that battle.: Craig_Bilodeau
She's not the toughest cookie on the block.: my cousin Kim
Silence is bliss.: Terry_Castellanos
Silence is louder than words.: Gary Swing
smoking like a sieve: Glen_Ayers
Someone's going to hang from the yardstick for this.: radio advertiser
Sometimes I feel like I'm swimming uphill against the grain.: Steve Barber
Sometimes they bite the farm.: Ken Zotigh
Sometimes you have to bite the hand that you're dealt.: The Russler
Spare the rod; spoil the broth.: The Russler
Start at the 40,000-foot level, then drill down.: various IT managers
step up to the plate and pick up the gauntlet: Dave Musgrave
stirred the sea into a bowl of boiling cauldron: Robert Taylor
surfing the Infobahn [information superhighway]: Stan Kelly-Bootle
tackle that hurdle: Al_Poulin
Take the ball by the horns and run with it.: Earl
That doesn't mean it's written in gold.: Kathy Scott
That fish won’t hunt.: Chad Funk
That may sound great on paper.: Sean Hannity
That put a monkey in the wrench.: Debra Bentley (who did it on purpose before knowing about this book)
That really hacks me to a crisp.: Jeannette Scott
That was a dialog we started down.: Andrew_P._Smith
That will round out the triangle.: unnamed novelist
That will open up a whole new can of issues.: Frank Velez
That's a huge weight lifted off my head.: Shaun_Fiedler
That's grabbing the bull by the horns of a dilemma.: Gary Nijman
That's the nail that hits us on the head.: Tomas
That's the one that really swayed me over.: KSCS deejay
That's using your head for something besides a footstool.: Jeannette Scott
The ball stops in Dayton.: Steve_DeHaven
The beer flowed like wine.: someone on TV
The bottom line boils down to . . .: Farrell_Wilson
the bottom rung of the totem pole: Robert K. Oglesby
The deputy was willing to cut him a break.: Sgt._Sam_Pollock
The early bird gathers no moss.: Darin_Scheff
The folks in St. Louis burnt the midnight candle to resolve the issues.: someone in a memo
the four corners of the globe: The Russler
The future of the church depends on passing the torch to the next generation. Tonight's speaker is one who has taken hold of the baton.: Robert Taylor
The grass is always greener where angels fear to tread.: Gary Swing
The House Of Seven Ushers: Kathy Scott
The intention is to get a jumpstart on it.: Walter_Morgan
The love of money makes the heart grow fonder.: Gary Swing
The Maxeys' house deal fell through, so they're back to Ground Zero.: Kathy Scott
The odor was out of sight.: The Russler
The president threw in the white flag of surrender.: Mitt Romney
The rain is coming down like gangbusters!: David Beck
The rain was coming down in droves!: someone who prefers it to rain cats and dogs, not cattle
The ship of state has a difficult road ahead.: unnamed politician
The squeaky wheel wins.: Rob_Tudor
There are things that will really sink home with you.: Rob_Tudor
There is more than one way to spoil the broth.: Gary Swing
There wasn't a dry tear in the place.: someone on a "reality" show
There's a silver lining in all that red ink.: NBC5 news anchor Mike Snyder
There's light at the end of this rainbow.: Glenn Zimmerman, WNBC-TV News
These people are just blowing smoke and mirrors at you.: overheard by Steve Barber
These two guys are cut out of the same mold.: anonymous
They are crumbling at the seams.: one of the guys on "Hell's Kitchen"
They are opening doors that are on the cutting edge.: Edmond Pope
They counted the votes until the cows had literally gone to sleep.: Dan Rather
They cut into a water main, and it was gushing like a mountain.: Jeannette Scott
They don't know yet whether that played a factor in the accident.: newscaster
They gave him a raw shake.: John_Galvin
They need to wake up and smell the music.: John_Galvin
They paired off, one by one.: John Scott
They try to balance a fine line.: John_Casey
They'll never buy the cow if they can get the eggs for free.: anonymous
They're a legend before their time.: radio advertiser
They're in the trenches; they're on the horse and they're riding it.: Terry Johnson
things along that nature: Erica
Things are different when you have fifteen people on your plate.: Sam Mihdawi
This is a race where you can turn a corner, and then there'll be another team right there breathing down your throat.: Wil on "The Amazing Race"
This is just a nightmare waiting to happen.: Kathy Scott
This is something to put on the back of your radar.: overheard by Steve Barber
This isn't set in stone.: lots of people, confusing setting in concrete with carving in stone
This snowball is coming down the mountain with a full head of steam.: Dale_Dubois
Three people could halve that.: Kathy Scott
Throw the spaghetti onto the ceiling to see what sticks.: a Law & Order character
to get the buy-off of the business partner: a techie wanting buy-in and sign-off simultaneously
to the max degree: Rush Limbaugh
too many oars in the fire: anonymous
too many skeletons in her background: Kristin Brown
Two heads are always greener on the other side.: Gary Swing
up a tree without a paddle: a Walt Disney character, I forget which
Watch what you write with a fine-tuned comb.: Brian _Bilston
We all act as one heartbeat.: Yugo foreign minister Nebojsa
We are tipping the iceberg.: acquaintance of Steve Barber
We can still hang our heads high.: member of U.S. men's 4x100 Olympic team
We certainly don't want to rock the apple cart.: Steve Stein's boss
We could beat them with our eyes behind our backs.: George Crabtree
We drove a stake in the stand.: someone in my office
We had some hiccups in the road.: someone in Jon Kindschy's office
We just keep getting the tail end of the stick.: Lancaster,_Texas Mayor_Margie_Waldrop
We need to get a vaccuum cleaner and hose him down.: David Beck
We need to have photographic ears.: Ken_Blanchard
We need to look at it before the other eyes set foot on it.: Mike_Wajda
We need to sit down and walk through some things.: Ken Zotigh
We raised it to new depths.: anonymous Toastmaster
We should continue to ride the horse that brings in the gravy.: Jesse H. Borcher
We want to brand the Renascence name to the eyeballs in the chairs.: a salesman
We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.: anonymous
We'll have to get our hands wet.: colleague of Steve Stein
We'll just deal with it when we cross that bridge.: football captain speaking on team selection
We'll rewind the calendar.: anonymous deejay
We're cooking on all four cylinders.: Robert K. Oglesby
We're going to get locked into a corner.: Tom_Hogan
We're still getting our feet wet on getting rolling here.: Jim_Ballestro
What a dirty trap!: Jonathan_Polk
What could possibly go wrong in this picture?: Blackmon Mooring
What goes around, stays in Vegas.: The Russler
When life throws you curve balls, make lemonade.: Earle Dukes Roberts III
when we cross that path: anonymous
when you boil it down to its nuts and bolts: Ken Zotigh
When you put your best foot forward, it rubs off on someone.: Theresa H's mother
While we are ingesting the author's valuable insights, we may also be swallowing his blind spots.: Robert K. Oglesby
. . . whilst I polish these puppies up . . .: Walter Becker of Steely Dan
Why don't you wear that turtle-hair sweater or that herring-tooth jacket?: Schell Browning
. . . who were going to fight you hook, line, and sinker.: Rush Limbaugh
windy as a hornet: Jesse
without fear of hesitation: John Popper
worth every penny it's written on: The Russler
You are wise behind your ears.: The Russler
You buttered your bread, now sleep in it!: Jiminy Cricket
You can dish it out, but you can't take it with you.: The Russler
You can lead a gift horse to water but you can't look him in the mouth.: Gary Nijman
You can take that to the bank and smoke it.: Stephen J. Cannell
You can't get blood from a molehill.: Gary Swing
You can't have your cake and flock together.: Gary Swing
You can't make an omelette without breaking stride.: Brian _Bilston
You can't teach an old dog to skin a cat.: Gary Swing
You could have blown me over with a feather.: a friend of the Russler's
You could visibly hear the reaction.: Robert K. Oglesby
You could take that guy with a grain a salt.: Cynthia_Zotigh
You got to take it slowly. You've got to walk with kid gloves.: Vinny Cerrato, former GM of the Redskins, commenting on RGIII's recovery from knee surgery
You have to dance to a different drum.: Laura Schlessinger
You hit the nail on the dot.: Cynthia_Vega
You must have ears like an eagle.: Sam Gerard in "The Fugitive"
You need more sugar to get your brain circulating.: Dave Beck
You were at your wit's nerve.: Mike Shearer
You're fighting upstream.: John Heft
You're not pointing blame?: Mike Shearer
You've heard just a brief glimpse.: anonymous
Your car plays a link in your normal daily routine.: radio advertiser

THE RUSSLER
Word Wild Web
Dumb Things People Say
Lien À Trois
Elmwood Court
E-mail