LABEL LIBEL

On the bottle-top of a flavoured milk drink in the U.K.:

AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

On a timer which apparently causes the lights to flash once a day:

AUTOMATICALLY TURNS LIGHTS ON AND OFF AT DUSK

Book label indicating a distinct classification and shelving system for their music library:

In a patient drug education monograph:

Before taking this medication, tell your doctor or pharmacist if you are allergic to it.

On a bar of Dial soap:

DIRECTIONS -- USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.

On a Swedish chainsaw:

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAINSAW WITH YOUR HANDS.

On Boots Children's Cough Medicine:

DO NOT DRIVE A CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY AFTER TAKING THIS MEDICATION.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

In the instruction manual for a Canon camera:

DO NOT RATTLE PLAYFULLY AT THE SHUTTER BUTTON.

In the owner's manual for a Toyota:

DO NOT STAND UP THROUGH THE SUN ROOF WHILE DRIVING OR WHILE CLOSING IT.

On bottom of a box of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:

DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.

Warning on a box of Rogaine For Men:

DO NOT USE WHILE PREGNANT OR NURSING

On a Sears hair dryer:

DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

Label on sports equipment:

DUAL SPORTS CANVAS CATCHER FOR BASEBALL, SOFTBALL & FOOTBALL TWO SPORTS IN ONE

Label for Emerald brand ALMONDS:

There's a lot to see here. Click HERE to focus on the important part.

On a package of AA batteries:

EXPLAIN ¤ Do not change the batter that hasn't been used up or throw it into fire. ¤ Do not use it with common (carbolic) batter. ¤ According to the use way of equipments to install batter. ¤ Do not decompose the batter.

On a box containing a hotel-provided shower cap:

FITS ONE HEAD

Instructions inside a portable voting booth:

FOLD TOP DOWN. CROSS LEGS. COLLAPSE.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:

FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY

Warning label on a drain opener:

IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND OR CANNOT READ ALL DIRECTIONS AND WARNINGS, DO NOT USE THIS PRODUCT.

On a package of plastic GLOVES.
I wasn't sure what body part to insert, or where to insert it,
until I read the fine print:

On a banana bin in a grocery store:

For authentic Texas toast, look no further than New York:

On a package of [white] popcorn:

NO ARTIFICIAL COLORS

Believe it or not, this item has no color or size:

On a blanket from Taiwan:

NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO

On a Japanese food processor:

NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.

In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles:

OPEN OTHER END

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

Do not leave your head uncovered when you throw this in the bin!

A shelf display featuring mix-and-unmatch products:

On a helmet-mounted mirror used by US cyclists:

REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

On some Swanson frozen dinners:

SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.

In a store display, where the "faux" refers not only to the "cheetah," but also to the "striped":

On combination car registration / pet licence renewal form:

The Fee is $6.50 for altered, $9.00 for unaltered, and $2.00 for citizens over 65.

On a New Zealand insect spray:

THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

General warning:

TO AVOID ACCIDENTAL POISONING, DO NOT SWALLOW.

In the instructions inside a box containing a new computer:

TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.

On a Taiwanese shampoo:

USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

On the complimentary (but insulting) toothbrushes given by a dentist:

USE THE FUZZY END!

On a package of Sainsbury's peanuts:

WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS

On a automobile sunshield:

WARNING: Do not drive with sunshield in place.

On a toilet brush:

WARNING: Do not use toilet brush for personal hygiene.

On a Korean kitchen knife:

WARNING -- KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

On Nytol Sleep Aid:

WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.

On a home shop drill:

WARNING: Not intended for use as a dental drill.

On a child's Superman costume:

WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY

On a packet of Sun-Maid raisins:

WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

Tag on clothing for 18-month-old girls:

WITH XHILARATION® THERE ARE NO RULES. WHETHER YOU CHOOSE TO GO CRAZY OR DRESS TO THRILL. MAKE A STATEMENT. MAKE A SCENE. WEAR WHAT YOU WANT AND IT WON'T BE WRONG.

On a bag of Fritos:

YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.

Front of a memo pad whose target market is children.