Spoonerisms

The way I understand it, spoonerisms were named for William Archibald Spooner, an educator at Oxford who died in 1930. They occur when the initial (or possibly some other) sounds of two words in a sentence accidently played traces. I mean, trade places.

I had a college professor named Woody Kirk. I love the guy, but half the time when I said his name, it came out "Could he work?"

At the risk of intelling your insultigence, I will follow each example with the intended expression.


Quotes from Spilliam Wooner himself:

For pure enjoyment, give me a well-boiled icicle.
well-oiled bicycle
Is it kisstomary to cuss the bride?
customary / kiss
Let us drink to the queer old dean.
dear / queen
The Lord is a shoving leopard.
loving shepherd
You are occupewing my pie!
occupying / pew
You must catch the first town drain.
down train
You've hissed my mystery test, and you've tasted the whole worm!
missed / history // wasted / term

Quotes from a pew other feeple:

Absitively and posolutely! --Dr. Robert L. Scott
absolutely / positively
Can you count the scars in the stye? --Bob_Odle
stars / sky
Chiggers can't be boozers. --The Russler
beggars / choosers
Did you see that monarch flutter by?
butterfly
Don't go out in the roaring pain.
pouring rain
Don't pet the sweaty things.
sweat / petty
Don't sit there like a lump on a bog. --The Russler
bump / log
Evinotly dent. --Larry Nossaman
evidently not
I got my tang tungled.
tongue tangled
I have a headache. Do you have a cane pillar? --The Russler
pain killer
I need a caring person to tease my ears.
ease / tears
I was sitting on a pig billow.
big pillow
I'm filthy! I'm going to shake a tower!
take / shower
Lady Slings The Booze. --The Russler
sings / blues
Lot on your knife! --Arnold Schwarzenegger
not / life
Most of my friends are failing mentally, but I'm still tarp as a shack! --Ray Kimbrell
sharp / tack
The arsonist likes to fight liars.
light fires
The road is full of hot poles.
pot holes
The store with the zoding loan at the north front door. --Paul Schilla on KDIX radio
loading zone
The talk is clicking! --The Russler
clock / ticking
They break their own bed! --The Russler
bake / bread
Up in flames! What a fuel crate!
cruel fate
Watch the boot fall over the pole ghost.
football // goalpost
We will leave no tern unstoned. --Kenneth Dowell
stone / unturned
Weed 'em and reap! --The Russler
read / weep
West Vile Nirus --someone on NPR
Nile Virus
Where is your redding wing?
wedding ring
You hit the hail right on the Ned. --Michael Ellis
nail / head
You must be the bother of the fried. --The Russler
father / bride
Young man, you have mad banners!
bad manners

Bonus

Nelson_Hardy created a crossword puzzle for Games_Magazine entitled "Spooner At The Movies." Here are the applicable clues with their corresponding answers:

Romantic comedy about mudslingers:STREWN MUCK
Musical about an annoying stylist:DYES AND GALLS
Drama about a sailor's marriage:WED MAN DOCKING
U.K. film about tourists in Iberia:SPAIN TROTTING
Sci-fi comedy about pompous windbags:BOAST GUSTERS
Romance thriller starring Liberace as Shakespeare:THE GAUDY BARD
Courtroom drama about a groundskeeper:THE MAIN RAKER


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